A little more than a year ago, I began training for the LA Marathon. Having spent countless hours, dollars, blood, sweat and tears training for the event, I finished. The shear elation as I crossed the finish line was enough to move me to tears. As I trained...there were, at times, moments where I felt like quitting, moments that passed too quickly, others where I was in pure bliss, and (more frequently than not) I hated myself for getting myself involved in it.
In the end I had run 26.2 miles in 4 hours and 27 minutes, not a bad time I might say. But what I realized was that this culmination was a chapter in my life that I should have been documenting. This was a journey that I realize others have experienced and could relate to. For those that haven't, they could see what kind of commitment it takes to finish something like this. I realized I missed a huge opportunity to share...even if no one would have read it, the thoughts would have been great to have for myself.
After the last big adventure I had, I told myself that I would begin blogging about the experience. So now, I begin my newest adventure.
Currently, I am on the path to a PhD in Immunology. (Note: Immunology is the study of the immune system. More specifically, how foreign things like viruses/parasites/bacteria enter the body and how our system responds to such an event.)
This path began about a year ago, when I was trying to decide if I should apply for Medical programs at the conclusion of my Master's degree or if I should continue in academia. Having found that I've grown weary of a majority of the population...I determined that academia was the appropriate pathway. The question then began to swim in my mind, what would be so interesting to me that I would dedicate another 6 years of my life to investigating? A seemingly large commitment is being asked, a lot of time and money gets invested in graduate students and universities must be sure that their students are really as passionate about a subject as need be to cross that finish line....academia is after all, a marathon, not a sprint.
I recalled reading several articles through out my undergraduate career on HIV and how it affected the humans; how 10% of all caucasian europeans were, as a result of the bubonic plague, immune to this virus. As I began to study more about the topic, I found I had a growing passion for virology and pathology. The things I read began to sprout ideas in my head, new ways of studying the diseases or new methodology for therapeutics. My thoughts often would wander from the crucial work at hand and toward this field. A wonderful answer to my predicament of what to study was now answered.
Now that I had chosen a field, I had to research which schools were the best in the world for studying Virology/Immunology/Pathogenesis. I found about 9 schools that had programs of interest. I hesitate to disclose them all here, however, they are all quite prestigious. Upon discussion of my intent to apply to such programs with a former professor of mine, and wonderful friend I might add, I decided to add 2 additional schools to my list of potential applications. I compiled my research on professors at each school, the benefits, the draw backs, the stipends...all the details I could find, I had in my possession at the end of August. Applications opened beginning to mid September and would close some time mid to late November.
So my list was set and all I had to do was apply. A simple task really, or so it should have been.
As part of the master's program at my current school, it is required that you give a 40-50 minute seminar on a subject of your choosing; however, it must not be related to your current research. This seminar must be in-depth, focused on a particular facit and involve enough chemistry/biochemistry to pique the interest of the department professors. It requires a great deal of knowledge on the topic because, in addition to the talk, the professors who just listened to this presentation are allowed to ask as many questions as they would like to gauge the depth of your understanding of a topic. At the recommendation of my current advisor, I presented my topic on something I find interesting and related to the field in which I intend to enter next. My seminar was based on Neurological Encephalitis due to HIV (basically...swelling of the brain because of having HIV). This talk covered the biochemical pathways of what occurs in the brain...which proteins are increased or decreased as a result of exposure to HIV and what this means.
The talk itself was a success, I earned an A; the feedback I received from the professors indicated that I knew the subject well, and used visual aids to help explain the subject in a manner that made things easier to understand an follow. The only criticism was that I used too many abbreviations for the names of proteins and that I spoke a little fast...things that are easily remedied. This talk demanded a great majority of my time and so, I found myself, at the end of it, with only a few short weeks to pull my 11 applications together.
I began composing my personal statement, a topic that I found very difficult for myself because I am not one to generally boast about my accomplishments. I struggled. For days I wrote, re-wrote, deleted everything and started over. At the end, I found myself with a good "template" for a personal statement that could be customized to each school that I was applying to...or so I thought.
Each application had many different requirements for their personal statements, many required it to contain research experience which others required entirely separate essays detailing successes in the laboratory. I found myself only able to complete, at most, 2 applications a day in addition to continuing my research in the lab.
As with my marathon training...I began to question why I was doing this all. Did I really want to commit to 6 years? A lot happens in 6 years...everything changes. People change, places change, everything adapts and when I come back, it will be a huge shock. And these schools are all over the country...not just my home state. I've lived in my same house my entire life with both of my parents. If I get into one of these schools, it would mean a minimum of a 5 hour drive or a maximum of a 5 hour flight to get home. I've never really been away from home for longer than a few weeks before and I'm terrified.
The waves of fear began to wash over me and I became apathetic to the idea of a PhD. The idea of getting a job somewhere and starting a career and eventually a family sounded thrilling. It all became very overwhelming, but I knew I had to finish them.
I finished my last application a week before it was due and, on the same night, began posting a copy of my CV (similar to a resume, but used in the science field to show knowledge of topics/research skills) to several job websites. The entire time I was working on these, I've had the utmost support from my parents, girlfriend, friends, and professors. They've all stated how sure they were that I would be accepted to a graduate program, the only question was "where"? I, on the other hand, have a large amount of self doubt and expect only to receive those wonderfully worded rejection letters that indicate the applicant is just not a "right fit" for the university.
Five days ago, I received my very first request for an interview.
I had to re-read the email to make sure I was reading it correctly. I had others read it too because I was shocked. Surely, I thought, this was not meant for me...but there it was, my name at the top of the letter head, asking me to come for a two day long interview with the professors and current students at a university. I was quite surprised. I responded to the email, confirming my interest in the school and my willingness to travel on the requested dates.
That night it hit me...I was really on the path to a PhD. It was real. I would no longer get to be a kid at home, but I was going to be out in the real world. And though my girlfriend will be coming with me on this great adventure...it will be a large adjustment. My parents have been my two biggest supporters, and as I've become an adult, two of my best friends. Life with out them close by will be a very difficult adjustment, but one I know I need to make.
The request for the interview created combination of fear and excitement.
This is about to begin and I'm going to take as many people as I can along for the ride. This blog will be a commitment to myself mainly, and to any of you who decide to follow it, to record the thoughts, emotions and experiences of a progression through graduate school. I'm sure they will be fraught with anxiety, excitement, fear, joy, pain, depression, love and even some self-loathing. But, they will be real and they will be one of the many ways I make it through this next stage of my life.
Welcome to the Path to a PhD in Immunology.
