I was raised by loving parents who faced a lot of backlash from their family because they loved each other. While their skin tones were the same, one came from a strictly Sephardic Jewish background while the other came from a more ethnically diverse Christian one. They saw their relationship as being between just them and it shouldn't have any bearing on what family members may think or feel. I was raised by these two loving people and told that the most important thing was to find someone who loved me for me, man or woman, black or white, it didn't matter, just as long as they treated me well. From those loving foundations, I've grown into a person that believes "you must give respect to get it" and "If you're nice to me, I'll be nice to you."
That being said, I'm tired of being stereotyped. Yes, I am white, yes I am a male. These two things combined often leave people saying "oh poor you, the life of a white male is so hard" or "white male privilege must be tough." To be honest, I recognize the privilege that does come with my gender and skin colour. I am fully cognizant of it. But I am tired of being blamed for the woes of the world because of it. I personally have not oppressed people, nor has any member of my family for as far back as I can find. I've had conflicts with people of different backgrounds because they assume all white people to be the same. They assume that my skin colour automatically makes me a bigot, that I'm judging them.
One such recent case was that of one of my lab members. She is a woman of Vietnamese descent and said to me recently that so many female asian scientists are treated poorly/ thought less of by their white male counterparts. She went on to say that "[I am] lucky to know [her] and that the only reason [I] am as nice or treated her as equally was because of knowing [her]." Because how could I possibly even be a decent human to another without having met her? How could I see past my white male privilege eyes, had she not been here to help me? I found the comment highly inflammatory and took it as an insult. I conveyed as much to her and spoke to her of her own prejudices to which she admitted having.
Yes men historically are the aggressors, yes men are responsible for a great deal of the tragedies that can be seen and or studied in our history, and yes these men are predominantly and disproportionately white. But, that does not make all white men responsible. I'm tired of it being assumed that I look down upon people simply because of my background. I've been told that people think that I think that I'm better than others and that simply isn't true. I've been told that people see me as arrogant and overly self-confident, also not true. I've been told that people think that I don't think people from english as a second language backgrounds aren't as intelligent, and again that is simply not true. I don't know where these thoughts derive from, but had the people simply gotten to know me, they would see that I'm not that person. I've been a vocal advocate for equality, by which I mean not just for women but for people of different sexual preferences, gender identities, races, or creeds. I've defended the idea that racial profiling isn't okay because you can't treat one member of one group as being responsible for the actions of those that would seek to cause hate, anger, or violence. But where are my champions? Where are my advocates?
All around me are people from different backgrounds celebrating a month designated for their history or their gender and that's fine. When we look to the books, what we consider history, globally, has been dictated by white males. As such, white males have ruined our ability to publicly celebrate our race or our gender...and that's okay. But again, I'm tired having my face rubbed in the atrocities of people that I haven't ever actually been related to much less associated with. I'm tired of being told I should apologize for who I am or what color skin I was born with. When I point out the blatant racism in this thinking, I'm told that it isn't racism, that it is the other races and genders standing up for themselves. But really, when you belittle or hold prejudices against others for the color of their skin, it still is racism. It isn't my fault that these things were done, nor was it the fault of my ancestors, and I'm truly getting tired of having to defend that to each and every person who judges.
